Caesar's jokes
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars but they got jets.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Where does Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleavies.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” Why can’t he just speak plain English?
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
It's Caesar salad.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.