Butter jokes
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
Butter believe it.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Why are butts salty?
Because there buttered!
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"