New Butter Jokes

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you. She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

What do strippers and butter have in common? Both spread for bread

Whats ur mom and a dog got in common? Both will lick dick if u put peanut butter on it.

Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly? because it’s in bread

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy and I was home alone with my dawgy, and, and I was eating peanut butter, and I thought since its oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part, and my dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter up off my private part, and my private part, it got big and hard, and then peanut butter, but white came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining. And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted “What are you doing?” And then I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, “Well let me have a taste.” And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.

What does a hooker and butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car

Your teeth are so yellow you spit butter

Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.

Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter

Noob butter eater

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”