I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
