Butter jokes
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.