Butter jokes
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.