Butter jokes
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What is a bus 🚌?
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!