Butter jokes

What do you call butter without an expiration date?

A miracle butter, because wow!

How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.

Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?

A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”

Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.

Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

What does a hooker and butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

What competition do nuts participate in?

The peanut butter cup.

I like peanut butter and honey.

Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.