Butter jokes
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Noob butter eater.
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
Butter believe it.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!