Butter jokes
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
I like peanut butter and honey.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
Butter believe it.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”