What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
