But jokes

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.

Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!

Why are short people sad?

Don't judge though, it's crap but...

Because they couldn't reach happiness.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

Answer: The future.

But (DYM 87).