But jokes

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

You could think that some orphans are gay.

But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.

Only Cans.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.

I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

What goes down but not up?

An emo.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.

I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.