What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
money + money = MONEY
What's an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
READ THIS OUT LOUD: This is this cat This is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is a busy cat This is a for cat This is forty cat this is seconds cat NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Once youβve seen a shopping center, youβve seen a mall.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Why canβt you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
