As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.
Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).
P.S. I have no friends.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
