Breath jokes
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! ๐๐จ
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! ๐ญ๐ญ
You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Whatโs the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? โJames Brown - Get on Upโ
Whatโs the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? โVan Halen - Jumpโ
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? โI Can't Breathe - Juice Wrldโ
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and donโt breathe on the drapes.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
I breathe in African food.
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.