New Breakup Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.

Me: What's that sound?

Ex: What?

Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

Most states:

"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."

Alabama:

"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.