Bodily Function jokes
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
Pee.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
I love fard 😋
Toot and poop.
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.