This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
I guess in British chess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without two towers
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
If you’re ever board punch an orphan. What are they gonna do tell their parents?
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What do you call a committee of emo kids? A cutting board!
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Why cant orphans play monopoly
Because they never get a full house
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
