Biology jokes
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What did the gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
"Why is there so much shit in here?"
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
I'm a human.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
Why are some people African?
Because genes, you dummy!
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh