Proposal jokes
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."