Bill jokes
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
How do birds pay? With their bills!
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =