Bigness Jokes

ishy
in Forehead

youre foreheads so big it makes kanyes ego small

0

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.

Anonymous
in Forehead

Yo forehead so big NASA thought it was mars

6
Anonymous
in Puns

Two windmills were standing in a wind farm, one asked whats your favorite type of music, the other one replied... IM A BIG METAL FAN

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

crippling depression
in Depression

At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me

PG Tips
in Forehead

Your forehead is so big and shiney it looks like a solar field

Anonymous
in Little Johnny

Theres a kid named little Johnny who would always cuss. Well one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said "lets play a game". so the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. teacher says "A" little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself "well he might say something like a$$" so the teacher calls on sally. sally say "apple". the teacher says "B" little Johnny raises his hand. the teacher though "no he might say something like b!tch". so the teacher goes all the way to R. the teacher says "R" little Johnny raises his hand and say "me me please I really know one". then the teacher thinks to herself "well theres no cuss word that starts with R" so she said "ok Johnny give me a word that starts with R" little Johnny says "a rat!" and the teacher very pleased say "very good Johnny what type of rat" little Johnny says "A big gosh damn mother freaker". sorry I had to edit some word but y'all know what I meant.

Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

When is it bedtime in the jacksons house. When the big hand πŸ– meets the little 🀚

0
not sure

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

Anonymous
in Forehead

Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map

Galaxy
in America

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America's population

0
Anonymous
in Nut

I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

smartass

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that's why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." . Says that little boy: "But mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!"

Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

How do you know when it's bed time in Netherland?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

kallom
in Lip

your lips are so big it turns the grand canyon side ways

Noah guidry
in Forehead

Your forehead is so big Mastermind got jealous

Mr. Morbid

Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: Were here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!