Bigness Jokes

Big

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.

🎵There's a star-man waiting in the sky🎵

In a comic book style image, Superman flies with other heroes in the background. Text in the foreground reads: "Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it, they have to climb up to the two tallest buildings in New York."

Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.

Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.

Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"