A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says "oh my god your shoulders are broad!" another woman says "are you sure it's a woman?"
My friend had a drink called quick start so I said "that's a quick start to the morning".
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower? De-calf!!
A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy." The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink ... when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.
i go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
What do you call a roach in milk? Aroach con leche 😂
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
The only thing I do straight is vodka
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
Steven hawking walks into a bar oh, wait he doesn’t walk
what kind of mountain does everyone like? mountain dew!!! hahah
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea, the assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it"
i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda
turns out it was a fanta sea
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey? Because proper tea is theft.
