Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie
A Weasle walks into a bar the bartender says "Wow I've never served a weasle before, what can I get you?" "Pop", goes the weasle.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
My friend had a drink called quick start so I said "that's a quick start to the morning".
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower? De-calf!!
A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy." The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink ... when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.
i go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
The only thing I do straight is vodka
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
Steven hawking walks into a bar oh, wait he doesn’t walk
