My dick wants to buy you a beer. šŗ
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
If sheās old enough to smoke, Sheās old enough to choke.
If sheās old enough to pee, Sheās old enough for me.
My friend asked me why I havenāt had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "Iāve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Q: Whatās Jackie Chanās favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
