Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
