Best Jokes

What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?

Free dog food.

I have a the best life coach ever, because he taught to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Friends: You wanna hang with us? Me: No, I wanna hang myself

You learn from the best.

I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.

Frank: I am named frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years. Finley: I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties! Mia: Can we please change the subject?

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.