Being jokes

Gender reveals be going crazy nowadays.

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

It's tiring being straight 24/7.

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy."

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.

What animal can not be trusted?

A lion 🦁.

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!

Why did the cheetah go to school?

To be a cheetah.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.