Being jokes

Clown

My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🀑

Cancer

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Orphan

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

Memes

Orphan

There's an upside to being an orphan; every snack they get is family size.

Circumcision

What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?

The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!

Orphan

What's a benefit of being an orphan?

No one makes yo mama jokes to you.

Hooker

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

Orphan

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Emo

Emo

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

School

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

Trump fan

The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."

Log

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

Canadian

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

Language

Knock knock.

Who's there?

A murderer.

A murderer who--

Is cut off by being murdered.

  • 2
  • Size

    If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

    Fear

    My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

    Orphan

    What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

    The teacher can’t give you homework.

    Orphan

    Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

    We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.