Being jokes
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.