Being jokes
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?