Being jokes
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
"Autism be like..."
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What is the only video game to be ever made in Africa?
Where's My Water?
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."