Behavior jokes
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
You are all fucking disgusting!
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
So dark.
Many jokes about orphans.
God, this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.
Why go to sleep because he was bossy?
Like if you are a simp.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post