Behavior jokes

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?

A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.

Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Why do y’all do this?

Because you're lonely.

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.