An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room, then my T.V. started to float out the window. I said "drop it nig-"
Why did the dog ๐ถ wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. ๐
If dust mites are found in dust, Bedbugs are found in beds where are cockroaches found in?
Why did Mary have a little lamb ๐? Because a big one was too much in bed.
2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, "where have you boys been?" 1 of them replied with, "we were all over the neighborhood, we're mail men now." Their snobby teen sister said, "well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters." Then 1 of the boys said, "actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes โI canโt believe they got together after all that shitโ girl says โwhoโ boy goes โ my ass cheeksโ
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made Billie Jean or Beat It, and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
Sometimes i wish my gf was here that way we could have some fun in my bed, the I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say youโve been feeling lately?
Me: I donโt care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What time is it when you walk in to the wall ? Time to get to bed ๐
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*
1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me
I slept like a log last night.......woke up in the fireplace
