What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? A cherry float.
Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.
What’s the speed limit in bed? It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
GO ON THE QUINTILLIONAIRE MORNING ROUTINE NOW!
1. Wake up 2. Take a shit 3. Eat 4. Get out of bed 5. Have breakfast
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? "It's pasture bed time."
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy "What's going on here!?" He exclaims. The wife replies "See, I told you he was stupid."
Me: Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!
Depression: Lie in bed
2 people are under the covers. The man says "Quote the Beatles: Cum together!"
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!?
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr* On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby be mine.
how does parents punish there blind kid they move the bed
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
Why do orphans not care about sleep, because they have no one to wake up to
My Friends- Maya-I only Get 9 hours of sleep.-Josh- 9 hours I get 7 hours of sleep- Noah-You get 7 I get 4 hours of sleep-Me- You Guys are getting sleep. . .
The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌
What time is bed time at Michael Jackson’s house? When the big hand touches the little hand
