What’s a rapper’s favorite MUSICAL NOTE?
G major.
Beat Jokes
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!
I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because they love serving up HOT BEATS!
What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?
A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because they could always count on their beats!
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"
