Bat jokes
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
Why don't Indians play baseball?
Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
What games do bats like to play at recess?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
They eat the bat.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.