Basement jokes
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Stupid.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.