Bars jokes
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
A limbo champion walks into a bar.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!