Bars jokes

What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?

An AK-BAR 47.

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

At the Allahu-ak Bar.

What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.

A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!

What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...

Handy Andy.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?

Milk-hee-hee Way.

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bartender here?"

What is 6 inches and has nuts?

A Snickers bar.

How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”