Bar jokes
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."
I don't like jokes.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
What do you expect when you get out of a bar?
Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
A man walks into a bar and then out.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"