Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't COUNT on his bars
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS
I got barred from weight watchers today it wasn't my fault it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room all i did was say that it was the funniest game of hungry hungry hippo's that I have ever seen
Jamal had 75 candy bars, he ate 65, what does he have now?
Diabetes
Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favourite drink to have at a bar? A: Wo-Tahh
A man walked into a bar with a ak-47 with 50 round mag and yelled out who the fuck fucked my wife, everyone was quiet. one man at the back stood up and called, sorry mate but i dont think you have enough bullets.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
3 man walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked!😅
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling. The cashier says "If you can grab it, your meal's free.". The man then said "Nah, the stakes are too high.".
a man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm the bartender asks what he wants the man says i would like one beer for me and one for the rode
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don't serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.
Some goes into a bar and asks for a blow job the barman goes me too but then the guy goes I meant the drink
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To drop some KNOWLEDGE BARS
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars
2 Chinese men walk into to a bar. Owwwwwwwwwww they say instead of ouch
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear "Oi mate talk to me like that again I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle.
