Bar Jokes

Why did the rapper go to space?

To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars

I tried to get into an emo bar but I didn't make the cut.

so i walked into this bar, and thought, "wow. this is a dull joke."

i don't like jokes.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?" The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

break me a piece of that kit kat bar

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks....

Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am

A black man walked into a bar. Other guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

What is 6 inches and has nuts A snickers bar

Orphan goes into a bar and the bartender says im sorry u need parent peemission to enter

a guy walks into a bar with a 44magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife the guy behind the bar says mate you don't have anuf bulittes

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping CENTS instead of BARS

A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!

what do u expect when you get outta a bar

ur mom naked LOLOLOLOL

a jew and jew walk in bar goy say what u want jew say give it alcohol jew say my son run away and become christian another jew pipe in he say my son too bar tender turn around he say “u not gonna believe this...”