I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
Bar Jokes
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree 🌳 cannot walk.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."
I don't like jokes.
"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
