Bar

Bar Jokes

Pint

I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.

Tree

What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree 🌳 cannot walk.

Time

A time traveler walks into a bar.

He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.

Mushroom

A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"

Man

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."

Popsicle

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Gay

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

Soap

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

Beer

Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?

A: Flanders Red Ale.

Guy

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

Drink

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

Emo

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

Mom

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

Priest

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"