Bar jokes
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't count the bars!
What did the rapper say to the fridge? (Part 2)
“I'm HUNGRY for some BARS!"
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could always count his bars.
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."