Bar jokes
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats.
What did the rapper say to the fridge? (Part 2)
“I'm HUNGRY for some BARS!"
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't count the bars!
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could always count his bars.
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.