Bar jokes
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So, Stephen Hawking walked into a barβoh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Memes
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
Stephanie
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Why canβt Homer Simpson bring his family into Moeβs Tavern?
Because thereβs a bartender in there.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, βWow, Iβve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?β
βPop,β goes the weasel.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.