Bar jokes

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They drop some HOT BARS!

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."

An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.

I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!

Stephanie

Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?

Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"