Bar jokes
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
Best president
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To drop some BARS on the other side.
What’s a rapper’s favorite exercise?
Heavy bars.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Stephanie
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.