Bar

Bar Jokes

A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

your walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18 you call the manager to have them removed but no one came down. later that night you see the 2 18 year olds 1 was a girl and the other was a boy so you call the manager down no one came again. you confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. you are nocked out on the floor. when you wake up there is a hard feeling in your a** you turn ur head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap on in ur a** going fool on hard.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

2 whales went to a bar. The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh. The second whale said, "Greg I think your drunk, let's go home."

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

2 Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier, they put in their names her name was he gay and his name was shi A ho

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".

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What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around the guy has to pee get up on the deck and stick you stick it between the bars and pee.