Baptism jokes
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."