Ball Jokes

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?

A: Tickle its balls.

Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.

Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.

The image shows a text written on a wall or stall. The text reads: "I once took a shit in this stall, so thick and so firm it stood tall, it balanced on end that shit did not bend but fell over and scraped my left ball."

Balls in your jaws.

I stole one's balls.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.

At baseball practice...

"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"

"No, but I got two right here."

Ball so hard! 😂🤣

Hi. I am Joe.

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

Why do short people laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.

Dad: What's boofa?

Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”

The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”

Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”

With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”

“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”

“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”