Bounce jokes
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing boeing boeing.
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
What's a booty's favorite dance move?
THE BUM BOUNCE!
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 32,” is the reply.
“Nope! I’m exactly 50,” the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, “I’d guess about 29.” The woman replies with a big smile, “Nope, I’m 50.”
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, “Oh, I’d say 30.”
Again she proudly responds, “I’m 50, but thank you!”
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, “Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, “What the hell, go ahead.”
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay... How old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, “Madam, you are 50.”
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?”
“I was behind you at McDonalds’."
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
Balls.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."