what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Lick my BALLS!
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
Ball stretcher.
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
