Bad jokes
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Memes
So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!