Bad jokes
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.