Bad Jokes

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done I said "How bout you give me a standing ovation." I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair. Sad and lonely

What does a human and a cat have in common, both takes my bed

мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ

Yo'Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying , Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died and two weeks later Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next.

What did thanos say when he snapped his finger - another one bites the dust

What has 5 legs, 3 arms and 7 feet? The finish line at the marathon bombing.

The village people said that they need their idiot back you better get going

What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?

If you lift the hood on my car you won’t find a 5.7l v8

Laugh.

My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”

so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger

Why did the chicken cross road? Because fuck society that's why

Q:What do you call a man in a wheelchair? A: Disabled

YEAH NOT TO BAD AT ALL REALLY

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'