Back jokes

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.

Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the milk.

My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Why did he go to the chiropractors?

To get his spine fixed.

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."

Ok.

"Thank you, what is your wish?"

I wish for my 5 cents back.

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

Family are together playing charades.

Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.