Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
Man's hairline is back-court violation!
Your hairline goes farther back to Rosa Parks' seat.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.