Away jokes

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?

A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

Why did the prisoner run away?

To spit bars.

Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!