What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
What do you call an African American pilot?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
